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ot9. 絆。
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8 public comments
Touche
Zing!
basically.
Atlanta, Georgia
welp
New York, NY
Ha!
Atlanta, GA
6 public comments
reply
6 public comments
Too True!
Hey look, it's me!
There you go
you're so slow
a no go is a no go
if you blow, you blow
Alas
you're so slow
a no go is a no go
if you blow, you blow
Alas
Canada
Watch as a giant albino python opens a door and comes right on in, thank you very much.
Bored of being in a dark room, she flips on the light, opens the door and bails. This particular episode takes place at 1am. This is why we keep doors locked with her around. We don't need her harassing the neighbors.
Maybe don't watch this if you want to sleep tonight. (via @daveg)
Tags: video
7 public comments
This snake learned how to open doors, don't tell me change is difficult.
Portland, OR
Horrifying...
Taipei, Taiwan
omg! i wasn't afraid of snakes. until now.
San Luis Obispo, CA
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Interrupting python."
"Interrupting python who?"
"F*** you, I'll open the door myself."
"Who's there?"
"Interrupting python."
"Interrupting python who?"
"F*** you, I'll open the door myself."
Denver
...unless they figure out how to open doors
Brisbane
he didn't knock, either. Wellp, g'night!
Victoria, BC
…I did no research while writing this essay. Also I don’t own a TV.
–SCENE: The outskirts of a stark foreboding castle on the edge of some mythical British-seeming land–
_____
Dwarf:Hello… I’m a dwarf… king.
Hot girl:Avast! I sense that you are in league with the Northlanders!
Guy with lots of vowels in his name: Hello. My name is Dacérynâl Cändleflue. That’s a lot of vowels!
Dwarf:Aye. Indeed it is.
Girl:Verily. It sounds sort of Welsh, but like… fake Welsh.
Guy:Are there dragons in this?
Girl:I don’t know.
Guy:That’d be cool… if there were dragons.
Dwarf:By my troth! I sense that you… Dacérynâl Cändleflue… are in league with the Northlanders!
Guy:Who are the Northlanders?
Girl:Bad guys, probably?
Dwarf:Fuck this show is complicated.
Girl:That’s why people like it.
Guy:Aye.
Girl:Avast! An interloper!
(Another hot girl arrives.)
New Girl:Hello! Here are my breasts!
(She disrobes.)
Girl:…And that’s the other reason that people like it.
(A dragon arrives.)
Dragon:..I’m not sure that I’m in this scene.
Guy:You’re probably not.
New Girl:We’re unsure.
(…The dragon flaps off.)
New Girl:So ANY-way…
Dwarf(glaring at her breasts):By the rood! How uncouth! Cover yourself, vile strumpet, or I shall slay you with my Sword of Bleedening!
New Girl:Jesus.
(She covers herself. A peasant arrives.)
Peasant: You guys! I have woeful tidings of the Northlanders. …Woeful tidings, which, alas, pass faster than thought, wingéd thought!
Guy:What ho, of the Northlanders?
New Girl:I’m taking my shirt off again.
Everyone:Fii-iiine!
(She does so.)
Dwarf: Alas; a woman’s nudity, which lays bare to all. As indeed all is in time laid bare. Bare; bare as this game which we all so ruefully play. …This game… of thrones.
Peasant:So this is sort of like ‘Dungeons & Dragons,’ but with tits?
Girl:Probably.
Dwarf: …Hark; who among uscan say for sure, in this game that we all so wontonly toy at. This game… of thrones.
(An elf or something arrives.)
Elf or something:You guys! Terrible news!
Guy:What ho, Outlander?
Elf:I hear that we all died or something! In something called a “Red Wedding”?
New Girl:Um, hello?
Girl:…Um… SPOILERS?!
Guy:…So we’re all dead right now?
Elf:Probably!
Everyone: AAAAAAHHHHH!
(The dragon flaps in for a second, sees what is going on, and leaves.)
Everyone:…AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
_____
–End Scene–
_____
Coming next:What I’m guessing that show ‘Girls’ is like. 
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